Helen sometimes calls Jane, “Watermelon Head.” Because Jane has a big head, is the reason. She does it a lot, in front of other people, and at school, and Jane likes it. She hates it when other people try to be a part of the joke, and she acts sour, but she secretly likes it when Helen calls her Watermelon Head.
Jane’s obsessed with Richard Feynman now, too. He was a physicist.
"He knew how to pick locks," she told Helen. "He worked on the atomic bomb with Oppenheimer, and he picked the locks to the other scientists’ filing cabinets just because he could."
"We should learn to pick locks!" Helen said. "We should learn how to pick locks and pick pockets. We can practice on each other! And that way we’ll always have this skill, you know? So if we get old and we get Alzheimer’s or crazy, we can still survive on the streets!"
"Feynman wrote a book called What Do You Care what Other People Think of You?" Jane told her. It was the most amazing title for a book.
"Scientists are boring," Helen said. And Jane laughed at her.
"That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard!" she said. "Did you know Alan Turing committed suicide with a poison apple? And he had a van that he used to travel around the country with his wife in. He called it the Touring Machine."
"You’re making that up," Helen said. "We could probably order lockpicks off the internet. Do you think that’s illegal?"
"There’s only one way to find out," Jane said.
When their lockpicks came, they started by picking the front door to Helen’s house. Then the padlock on the garage. But people kept walking by, and they kept having to stop because they still weren’t sure if it was illegal to own their own lockpicks. They needed privacy. So they put their money together and they went to the hardware store.
"We want a lock," Jane told the clerk.
"Sure thing," he said. "What kind of lock do you want?"
"Like a front door lock," Jane said. "I want the same lock you would sell me if I were just a regular person coming in to buy a lock for their front door, you know? Not the cheapest, but not the most expensive either."
"Like you were just a regular person?" the clerk said.
"Yes," Jane said. "Because I am."
"She totally is," Helen said.
"Right," Jane said. She smiled. "We’re just regular people. Honest citizens like yourself!"
"I don’t understand why you’re being weird about this," Helen said to him. "Are you prejudiced? Please treat my friend the way you would treat someone with a regular sized head."